导读:你是单身吗?你对自己处于这种状态感到困惑吗?别担心,专家来为你答疑。业界优秀的关系专家向我们讲述了单身的种种原因,以及摆脱单身、找到真爱的方法。那么,究竟是什么使我们一直单着呢?
Your social media
你的社交网络
Your social media channels may be the reason you are single.
你单身,可能是因为你的社交网络。
Broadcasting your political views on your social media channels can eliminate any potential suitors with opposing views from making an approach before you have even met.
在社交网络上表明你的政治观点,这会使那些持对立观点的潜在追求者在见面之前就放弃接近你。
Do not post cryptic statuses, because all the reader gets out of this self-indulgent status is a sense that you would be a nightmare to be in a relationship with.
不要发表令人困惑的状态,因为所有的读者都会避开这种自我放纵的状态,他们会觉得跟你谈恋爱会是一场噩梦。
Posting too many selfies can also put off potential suitors, explaining that they may think that you are self-absorbed or very narcissistic and refrain from approaching you.
发布太多自拍照也会使潜在追求者对你失去兴趣,因为他们可能认为你太关注自己或者非常自恋,所以就不去接近你了。
Your attitude
你的态度
Many single people seem to carry a typical ‘woe is me attitude’ when it comes to explaining why they haven’t yet found ‘the one’ to settle down with, especially once they have reached a certain age.
对单身的人来说,谈到为什么还没找到能让他们安定下来的“那个人”,尤其是当他们已经到了一定年龄的时候,他们中的许多人似乎都持有一种典型的“悲观主义态度”。
Feeling sorry for oneself can very much exacerbate a situation and gives potential suitors a reason to stay away.
垂头丧气会使情况恶化,而且会给潜在追求者一个远离你的理由。
You're too picky.
你太挑剔了。
The expert says that the internet is to blame for us being too picky.
专家指出,我们太挑剔,这都怪互联网。
You get chatting to a guy online. He seems great, but there are so many other profiles out there, maths tell us one of them is almost certainly a better fit for you.
你在网上与一个小伙子聊天。他似乎不错,但网络上还有那么多其他人的资料,数学告诉我们,几乎可以肯定其中之一更适合你。
How do you get over this? By being less picky? Changing your mindset and stopping concentrating on future lost chances, instead focusing on what will make you content today.
你如何克服这一点?不那么挑剔?改变一下思维方式,不要关注未来失去的机会,而是把注意力放在现在让你满意的事物上。
'I have a type'.
“我有喜欢的类型。”
Dating is a buffet - the best way to build your preferences is to sample everything on offer.
约会就像吃自助,培养个人偏好的最佳方式就是每样都来一份。
The issue is when we judge someone on whether they are our type or not, we do so on surface level appearances and personality traits. But when we date someone, it’s the characteristics under the surface level which dictate whether or not they’re a fit for us.
问题就是当我们要判断某个人是不是我们喜欢的那一型,我们只是凭借外貌和个性特征等表象来判断。但是当我们和某个人约会的时候,表象下的特质就会告诉我们他们是否适合我们。
Get to know a personality you’ve never experienced before. Maybe you won’t find your dream guy, maybe you will. What you’re bound to gain, however, is a better understanding of what you want in a partner.
去认识一下你以前从未接触过的一种个性的人。也许你不会找到自己的白马王子,也许会呢。不过,对于自己想要一个什么样的伴侣,你一定会有更好的理解。
You haven't let go of an ex.
对于前任,你仍无法释怀。
Your future relationships are affected by a wide range of things, your connection to your ex is one of the most impactful.
你未来的恋爱会受到许多事情的影响,你与前任之间的关系就是影响最深远的因素之一。
You might notice the conscious changes your ex has caused, but there are so many unconscious changes that you’re probably unaware of. It becomes dangerous when these unconscious changes stop us from starting new relationships.
你也许会注意到因为前任而自觉作出的改变,但是你可能不知道,许多改变都是你无意之中做出来的。当这些无意的改变使你无法开始一段新的恋情的时候,这就危险了。
If you think you’re a victim of this, it’s important to concentrate on breaking off your feelings for your past relationships before ever starting a new one.
如果你认为自己深受其害,那么在你开始一段新恋情之前,集中精力了结自己对前任的感情是非常重要的。
Try being open to new experiences and meeting new people. Expand your experiences and escape your comfort zone. By saying yes to the world you’re improving your chances of bumping into Prince Charming.
试着接受新体验,认识新朋友。丰富自己的经历,远离自己的舒适地带。对世界说“是”,这会为你增加撞上白马王子的机会。