常言道,“近朱者赤,近墨者黑”,我们都被自己身处的圈子影响着。
已故的著名美国企业家吉姆·罗恩(Jim Rohn)有一句名言:
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
你是与你相处时间最多的5个人的平均。
LifeHack网站发了一篇文章,认为这世上有五种人,当敬而远之:
这五种有毒的人,你现在就要远离他们
作者说:
We only have a limited time to live a meaningful life. Toxic people slowly drain you of your vitality. The more energy you spend on them, the more stressed and empty you feel. We have all encountered such people, and some of us may have even been toxic people at some point in our lives.
我们只有有限的时间度过充满意义的人生。毒人会慢慢榨干你的生命力,你花在他们身上的精力越多,你的压力就会越大、也会越空虚。我们都遭遇过这样的人,甚至在生命中的某些节点,我们自己也当过这种有毒的人。
一起来看是哪五种人。
[Photo/Pexels]
1. The Gossiper 八卦君
The gossiper make you feel like they are bringing you into the fold by sharing delicate information with you. It seems like all they do is gather and disperse chitchat about other people. However, this doesn't add value to your life, and if the gossiper will talk to you, you can be sure that they’re also talking about you to someone else.
八卦君们让你觉得,他们通过和你分享一些小道消息,好让你更加融入群体。他们好像成天都在八卦别人,然后散布出去。然而这不会给你的生活带来任何价值。如果八卦君们试图接近你,可以肯定他们也在跟别人谈论你的八卦。
This is the person at work that corners you during break time and talks badly about another coworker's performance. People see you together, and they may even label you as a gossiper just for being associated with this type of toxic person.
在工作中,这种人一般都会在休息时间来找你,跟你疯狂吐槽另一个同事的表现。人们要是看见你和这种人一起,他们甚至也会给你贴上“爱八卦”的标签,谁让你老和这种有毒的人厮混在一起呢?
2. The Manipuator 操纵狂
A manipulator knows what they want, and they'll use you to get it. They don't care about your thoughts and feelings. It seems like the more time you spend with them, the less power you have over yourself. Stick around this person too long, and you’ll end up doing whatever they want。
操纵狂对自己想要啥清楚得很,他们会利用别人来达成目标。人家才不在乎你的想法和感受。貌似你与他们呆的越久,你对自己的掌控力就越低。要是和这种人呆久了的话,你最后就会完全听命于他们。
For example, I have a friend who is being in a toxic relationship. His girlfriend is controlling and abusive. Whenever he tries to leave, she fakes a health crisis to make him feel sorry for her. Since my friend is a nice guy, he sticks around and tries to make her feel better.
比如说,我有个朋友,他就处在一段特有毒的关系中。他女票很霸道,控制欲还很强。每当他试图离开时,他女票总会假装生病,让我朋友觉得有愧于她。我朋友就是人好,所以总是在她身边,让她感到开心。
3. The Judge 审判者
Regardless of what you say, think, or do, the judge will always have some criticism for you. The judge never tries to put themselves in your shoes. Their only concern is what you did or didn’t do. The more time you spend with them, the more depressed you’ll be. You can never make them happy.
不管你说啥、做啥或是想啥,审判者们都要批评你一番。这些爱评头论足的人从不会试着站在对方的角度思考。他们只关注你做了什么或没做什么。和他们呆的时间越久,你就会越沮丧。你永远也不能令他们满意。
4. The Exaggerator 夸大其词的人
An exaggerator doesn't know how to keep a small problem small. They often resort to saying things like, "You never did…" or "You have always been…" They don't take the time to consider steps you've taken to fix the problem or correct your mistake. To an exaggerator, every mistake feels like the end of the world.
这些总爱夸大事实的人特别喜欢把小问题搞得很严重,“你从没做过......”或者“你老是......”他们忽视你为解决问题或者纠正错误所做的努力。对于他们,任何错误都像是世界末日。
5. The Emotional Expresser 情绪化吐槽狂
The emotional expresser loves talking about feelings, but they never do this in a constructive way. This is the people who repeatedly tell you how bad something makes them feel, but never take any action to improve the bad situations.
情绪化吐槽狂超喜欢表达自己的情绪,但是却从来不会以一种积极的方式表达。这种人总是一而再再而三地告诉你,某件事让他们感到有多糟糕,但却不会付诸任何行动去改变这种不好的状况。
Any suggestion that you make for how they can improve their lives will be met with resistance. "I can't do that…" and "I've already tried that…" are responses that the emotional expresser will give to you when you challenge them to face their problems.
而且你给他们任何能够提高生活的建议都会被他们否决。而当你要他们去面对自己的问题时,他一般都会回答,“我做不了那个......”和“我已经那样试过了......”