Read patiently, and the plots often have great similarities: I am a good girl in her youth, and I meet a young man with strong blood. At this time, the girls began to hesitate. Strangely, their hesitation was not due to their own inner uncertainty, but a fear of parental authority.
An excerpt from the original text, omitting key information: "My parents and everyone around me have high expectations for me since I was a child, and I have always done well. When I first came into contact with sex, I preferred physical contact, and I would not have If you have a physical relationship, you have to be responsible for your whole life. It’s just that the parents around you have always emphasized that you don’t want to have a relationship. People who really love you will hold back Barabara. I just feel sorry for their expectations of me, really I really want to know what sex means to us. How should the traditional Chinese education, the thinking mode of having a relationship with my parents after marriage in that era, and the thinking of our young people today?"
First of all, "the person who truly loves you will you hold back?" is very wrong. The correction should be "people who really love you will respect your opinion", and it's not just limited to girls. Otherwise, if the boy thinks you really love me, he will give it to me, and if the girl thinks you really love me, he will be able to hold it back. In this way, it is hard for the two of you to achieve and neither one loves the other. Sex, especially "for the first time," comes naturally, but usually isn't "ready" for both parties at the same time. So even if you have to "endure", then this endurance is staged.
Secondly, to be honest, in the days of my parents, people were poor in material and spiritual, and their educational level was generally not high. Not to mention sex education, even the most basic parent-child education and related sociology and psychology knowledge, they know nothing about it. They don't know how to explain many difficulties and confusions in the process of growing up, and they even avoid talking about sex. Over time, we can only get this information from less healthy and less legitimate channels, but we can't learn some key knowledge that can be used to protect ourselves. In fact, it is not just about sex, even for love, they are hard to talk about. They will only say "hitting is kissing and scolding is love" and will never tell you "sex is an intimate act between two people who are very much in love". They won't tell you that sex is a natural and healthy thing, they'll just make you think sex is dirty and shameful.
Also, don't you really think that they only had a relationship after marriage at that time?
The root cause of parents worrying about their daughters is nothing more than two points, one is psychological damage by boys, and the other is physical damage by boys. In particular, psychological damage may be slowly forgotten or repaired, but physical damage may be permanent and irreversible. However, not falling in love in order not to break up, not having sex in order not to have a miscarriage, does it sound like a bit of a waste of food because of choking? What's more, in their era, even if they were married, there were not a few people who had abortions because of the one-child policy. So what is the solution to this? Therefore, many things are not absolute, they are all probabilistic events, and they are not directly related to whether or not to get married. Rather than blindly overprotecting her daughter (and eventually preventing her from interacting with the opposite sex normally), it is better to teach her how to protect herself.
In my opinion, parents do not have the responsibility, right or obligation to supervise or even monitor the progress of their children in the process of love. Even asking if there is a relationship is a disrespectful behavior that ignores personal privacy. All parents expect that their daughter will always be a pure and clean little princess, which is actually quite ridiculous. If you really listened to them, what would you do if you married someone who was soft and short and didn't know it, and you would never be satisfied in your life. How could they not realize how dangerous it is to do you injustice like this. What's wrong is not that you who have grown up and have a skin-to-skin relationship with your lover, what's wrong is their unrealistic fantasies. And, not just in love and relationships, but in all aspects, you have to let them know that you are an adult, you have your own life, and you can't and can't follow it exactly. their will to do things.
