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Do boys and girls hurt?
Generally speaking, if the girl is having sex for the first time, the girl feels pain. Most people say that a girl's first pain comes from the rupture of the hymen, but this is not accurate. First of all, we all know that the hymen is actually just a thin film. In real life, many virgins actually have broken the hymen when they have sex for the first time. Seeing red on the first night is one of the most direct manifestations of a woman's first sexual life, but seeing red on the first night does not necessarily have to be red. The reason is that the hymen is very fragile, and it is easy to rupture when exercising in daily life. Well, when women are in the hymen, they don't actually attract too much attention, which also shows that the rupture of the hymen will not cause obvious pain.
If we have always thought that "the first time is painful", this new feeling will naturally be recognized by our brain as pain under this preset cognition, and then fear and fear will naturally arise. psychology. But if we don't have this presupposition, and just think that this is a feeling of being propped up, or the feeling of being full in the vagina, it will not make us feel fearful. If we have the right expectations for sex before the first sex, then our brain will recognize this feeling as a strong sexual stimulation, even in the first night, we can feel sexual identity and enjoy the pleasure of sex .
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Causes of Painful Intercourse
1. Diseases of reproductive organs and urinary system, congenital malformations, etc. Typical lesions are endometriotic nodules on the uterosacral ligament close to the posterior vaginal fornix, inflammation in the pelvis and adhesions to peritoneal organs, palpation of the nodule by penetration of the penis, and shaking of the peritoneum during friction with the vaginal mucosa And touching the organs causes pain.
2. Vaginal allergies, such as allergies to contraceptives, can also cause pain.
3. The first intercourse of the newlyweds tearing the hymen and dilating the vaginal opening can also cause pain and difficulty in intercourse in the first few days. The excitement of the newlyweds and the busyness and fatigue brought by them will also make the coitus not completely satisfactory, so it is generally 3 to 4 weeks after the newlyweds to reach the level of satisfactory coitus. Hasty intercourse, that is, before the female sexual excitement is not fully aroused, the vagina lacks expansion and lubrication. At this time, the penis is inserted, or the action is inserted slightly violently, which often causes temporary pain, and the sexual excitement will be inhibited. Pain may be aggravated by thrusting and rubbing, especially in the highly sensitive clitoral area. It has rich blood vessels and nerve tissue, and in the absence of sexual excitement and dryness, it will not only produce pain, but also psychologically produce an unbearable sense of disgust.
4. In the absence of organic lesions, pain during intercourse is mainly caused by insufficient vaginal lubrication. There are two main reasons for insufficient sexual arousal: one is insufficient preparation for intercourse, that is, insufficient flirting actions such as hugging, kissing, and caressing; the other is anxiety, fear, lack of concentration during intercourse, and depression brought about by work and life. Don't wait.
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How to Overcome Painful Sex
For the treatment of sexual intercourse pain, in addition to organic diseases that need to be treated, psychotherapy should generally be performed. The specific method is as follows:
1. Overcome fear
The relaxation method can use progressive relaxation training, which can eliminate tension and achieve relaxation through repeated "contraction-relaxation" circular training of muscles.
2. Establish a mentality of equality between men and women
Women's sexual intercourse pain and difficulty, often caused by psychological inequality. Some sexual psychology experts stress that successful intercourse must break through the barriers of silence and isolation, and abandon the traditional and repressive sense of shyness. It advocates the psychological equality of men and women during intercourse, that is, equal sexual desire requirements, equal sexual desire expression, equal initiative, etc.
3. Create a good sex environment
Whether the environment for making love is suitable is an indispensable condition for the treatment of sexual dysfunction. Human intercourse is not only legal and civilized, but also chooses the right environment for love. A suitable environment is one of the important conditions for successful copulation.
4. Reasonable sexual caress
Many women's dyspareunia and pain are caused by a man's first rough entry. Sexual stroking can cause a high degree of sexual arousal in women, and slight pain is often undetectable. There is no standard for the pleasure of sexual caress, and it is related to psychological factors, life experience, upbringing, etc., and varies from person to person.
5. Perform vaginal muscle relaxation techniques
This behavioral therapy is especially effective for painful intercourse caused by vaginismus. Vaginismus is an involuntary reflex spasm that occurs in the muscles around the vagina, including even the adductor femoris. It has three types: primary vaginismus, secondary vaginismus, and situational vaginismus.
Vaginal muscle relaxation technology: let the woman do continuous contraction and relaxation of the muscles of the abdomen, inner thighs and vaginal opening, so that it has a sense of control over the tightness of the muscles. The method is that the woman inserts her fingertips into the vaginal opening to experience the contraction and relaxation of the vaginal muscles.
