The first experience is dominated by positive feelings ------ sense of duty and belonging
"The first sex life was very painful, especially painful. I really accepted it entirely for love, because love has to be endured and paid. He couldn't bear it anymore, and said, just look at your pain. After I did it for the first time, I felt that people in the world had changed. When I saw a person on the street, I would think that he would do that thing at night, as if he saw a different side of the person.”
"After we got married, our sex life has been unsuccessful. It took several days to succeed. There was no pleasure, only psychological satisfaction."
"After we registered, we had a sexual relationship. There was no wedding at that time. For the first time, I didn't feel anything but pain. There was a feeling that I was an adult from now on."
"We didn't feel anything for the first time. We felt a little nervous, not very painful, and came here in a daze."
"I had sex for the first time when I was 21 years old, before marriage. I didn't feel any pain."
"I didn't have sex with him before marriage. Before marriage, he was worried that he was not good. He felt that he was too old (in his 30s), neurasthenia, and sentimental. He was very stressed on the wedding day. He said at the time: I can't do it, we have to get a divorce. It took about a month after we got married. I was in a little pain and bleeding a little. His penis is too small and he is not physically strong, so he is under a lot of psychological pressure."
"It was very painful the first time, and sometimes it hurts later."
"For the first time, neither he nor me. My lover's moral character is impeccable. Their family is a revolutionary family, and they don't talk about anything other than orthodox education, so we don't understand at all, even sex I don't know life. At that time, I couldn't find any books, and my mother didn't tell us. The first time he couldn't find a place. I was very painful at the time, but finally I got it. I turned on the light and saw blood. , He said: You are still a virgin. (Someone in the factory said that I was not serious and had a bad reputation.)
"My first sexual intercourse, of course, was after marriage, and I didn't seem to feel any pain. He was unskilled at first, and it seemed that the hymen broke later."
"I remember the first time I didn't let him do it. I can do anything else I want, because I don't want children. He said, it's very rare for me to do it. I only dared to do it after taking birth control pills. I didn't remember it once. It didn't seem to hurt, and I didn't know there was an orgasm. He didn't know either."
One woman who gave her first time to a married man described how she felt: "He came to my dorm that day and it was my first sexual intercourse. He pinned me on the bed and went in It hurts a little later. Before that, I only knew that a man was going to enter a woman's body, but I didn't know where to go. After he entered, I had a feeling that the two were one. I think that means we are going to be together. Live, there is a feeling of 'I am his person'.
The first experience is dominated by negative feelings ------ disgust
Most of those women who feel disgusted and painful when recalling their first sexual intercourse experience are either divorced or have a bad relationship with their husbands. From this point of view, sex life is closely related to the relationship between husband and wife, but it is difficult to say which is the cause and the effect of the two; it is very likely that they are mutual cause and effect---because the relationship is not good, the disgust of sexual intercourse; And because the impression of sexual intercourse is very bad, the deterioration of the couple's relationship has been aggravated. A divorced woman recalled her first sexual experience: "The first sexual experience felt so bad. I hadn't been in a relationship with him before we got married. I didn't like him very much in the first place and felt awkward. He The first time I had sex, I urinated (Beijing slang: all over) all of a sudden, and it left a very bad impression on me. I never liked sex since then. I have never been touched, never loved, only humiliated a feeling of."
"The first time was painful, bleeding and not very successful. He didn't let me sleep much that night, he did it four times. The last time I cried, I sat up and said to him, 'What are you doing!' It hurts a lot, and it won't go away after a month."
"The first time I didn't feel pain, he was premature ejaculation. I was very disgusted, although I didn't say it, but he could feel it. Up to this time, I have never seen male genitalia, only children's, I feel very stimulated of."
"For the first time, I was scared, hurt, and shocked. I didn't like it, I was unhappy, and I felt uncomfortable. The most I like about men is to hug and caress. That's all."
Some women don't feel good about their first experience, not because they are disgusted with the matter itself, but because the object of the first sexual relationship is not a husband but a lover, and the psychological pressure is too great: "My first time was not with my husband. At that time, I was already quite young. I remember when we kissed, I was very scared and hated others, thinking that he was the one who hurt me. I think it was an instinctive fear, invisible and Chinese-style that I had been exposed to since I was a child. It was related to education. At first, I rejected this matter. He begged me, but I always refused. In the end, I couldn't refuse. In fact, his traditional moral values are also very strong. We are just ordinary boyfriend and girlfriend. Wife. I still take the first time very seriously."
Although women feel very different about their first sexual experience, most of them take it very seriously, because it is, after all, the "first time" in their life experience. There are many "firsts" in a person's life. I remember a mother said how she observed her child's "firsts" with joy: the first time to speak, the first time to walk, the first time to read and so on. . However, in the minds of many women, the first sexual intercourse has a different meaning from other "first times" - losing virginity, becoming "adult", becoming a different kind of person than before; this kind of Feelings should be seen as primarily psychological rather than physical. That is to say, the difference between this "first time" and other "first times" mainly comes from the norms of society, and from the special meanings that society gives to sexual behavior (such as the concept of virginity, etc.).
