Basic Information
Chinese name: husband and wife
Foreign name: man and wife
Relationship characteristics: Both parties are partners with a common purpose of permanent legality
Meaning: a legal marriage between a man and a woman
exception
① "Easy Little Animals": "The public talks about the spokes, and the husband and wife turn against each other."
② "Han Shu: Guanfu Biography": "Then the husband saw it and said: 'The general was fortunate to have promised Wei Qi yesterday.
③ "Xing Shi Heng Yan Qian Xiucai Wrongly Occupied the Phoenix Couple": "A woman who has seen Qiu Fang before said: 'Such a couple is really a talented woman!'"
④Hong Shen's second act of "The Young Mistress's Fan": "Miss Wei: Now the couple, if they make a little love, they will feel special and can't rest assured."
source
The origin of the word husband
"Husband" in ancient times referred to a grown man, and sometimes to an outstanding man among men. "The Twelve Years of the Emperor Wen of the Liang Dynasty": "When a man is twenty, he calls the "husband" crown, and the crown is listed as a husband." In ancient times, when a man reached the age of 20, he would hold a crown ceremony, and then he entered the ranks of his husband. . "Hu" refers to a man wearing a crown, and "Zhang" refers to the height of an adult man. Most adult men are taller than "one zhang". A zhang is 10 feet, and a zhang in summer is only 4 inches and 8 points of a zhang in today's city, so a zhang in summer is about 1.6 meters high. When people describe the characteristics of men, they often use the term "manly man". Today, however, the term "husband" refers to the spouse of a married woman.
When people usually talk about a couple, the husband is called "husband" and the wife is called "wife". These two names and customs are still the same to this day.
There are two theories about the origin of the word "husband". One is derived from the traditional etiquette of husband and wife in the matrilineal era. As we all know, it was an era when women were superior to men. After men and women became husband and wife, men feared that women would be robbed by other men, so they followed women by ten feet every day. It can't be near, it can't be far, probably just can't be out of sight, so the man is called "husband". Another way of saying it is that in some tribes in our country, there is a custom of grabbing marriages. When a woman chooses a husband, it mainly depends on whether the man is tall enough, usually one zhang is the standard. One zhang is about seven feet. only with this husband who is one zhang tall can he resist the strongman's robbing of marriage. According to this situation, a woman refers to the man she married as "husband".
The origin of the word wife
"Wife" first appeared in the "Yi·Xi Ci": "A man is in his official position, but his wife is not seen." But in ancient times, wife was not a general term for a man's spouse. "Book of Rites, Quli Xia" states: "The emperor's concubine is called the queen, the princes are called madams, the doctors are called Ruren, and the common people are called wives." It seems that the "wives" at that time were only the spouses of the common people and had no identity. Later, "wife" gradually became the general term for all men's spouses. ethical relationship
The modern marriage relationship based on love is the compound existence of the love ethics relationship and the marriage ethics relationship.
The relationship of marriage ethics, China is the Civil Affairs Bureau. Marriage is registered, and third-party control intervenes. (The marriage system is different in each country and era). It is generated by marriage control and counted from marriage control. It belongs to the control ethics. Marriage is essentially the domain of control. Loyalty objects are arranged, or loyal objects are selected under limited conditions.
The ethical relationship of love arises autonomously. The whole world consists of one man and one woman, which has an inevitable relationship with love. It is generated from the voluntary love belief (belief) of both parties, and it is calculated from the voluntary love belief (love ethical relationship). It is a voluntary ethics, and there is no control party. It is a love relationship that arises from the love emotion and goes beyond the emotion.
marriage basis
The "Marriage Law of the People's Republic of China" stipulates that a man and a woman must marry voluntarily, and a man must not be older than 22 years old and a woman must not be older than 20 years old. Late marriage and late childbearing should be encouraged (late marriage reward will be cancelled from January 1, 2016).
1. Self-esteem
People's self-esteem has been in it since childhood, and once it is damaged, it will be painful. If you are respected, you will feel relieved and satisfied. Mutual respect and trust between husband and wife is the basic guarantee for deepening love and career success. Any act of reprimanding or belittling a loved one will damage the other person's self-esteem.
Everyone wants to do things according to their own thoughts and will. This is the need for autonomy. Everyone hopes to express themselves in front of others, to exert their talents as much as possible, and to use their own wisdom to make progress.
Society is the source of the joy of human life. The practice of not allowing the lover to communicate with others, not only cannot guarantee the single-mindedness of love, but also destroys the psychological balance of the other party, feels tired of family life, and disgusts with the lover, which can only lead to the breakdown of the marriage.
Everyone's hobbies are different, and we should try our best to meet each other's psychological needs and provide convenience for each other. Emotional needs are centered on love, and lasting love will give each other the greatest psychological satisfaction. Otherwise, a sense of loss will arise spontaneously, and dissatisfaction, trouble, and resentment will follow.
When a lover is unhappy, he always wants to find someone to talk to, and spit it out. The object of this catharsis is, of course, his lover, and both husband and wife take each other as the best target for catharsis. So neither party should blame the other for being narrow-minded or for being nagging. Instead, they should take the initiative to accept the other party's catharsis, and further comfort and persuade them to relieve their inner pain, so that the other party can be freed from their inner contradictions and establish a new psychological balance. In this way, the inner pain will disappear, and the relationship between husband and wife will be further strengthened.
2. Emotional development
The source of feelings needs to be cultivated from childhood. People's comprehension and analysis ability of reason, the way of dealing with things are affected by the words and deeds of their parents, and the ability to deal with things is directly related to the moral education they receive. Growth process: In the communication with parents and playmates in childhood, he (she) should know mutual respect, mutual humility, civilized language, caring for the environment; know how to learn knowledge related to life; know how to save oneself and how to be correct Help others; know that any mutual transmission of love will affect the establishment of a person's character; know how to correctly empathize with problems; know how to understand the hard work of parents; know how to help parents do what they can; know how to cherish mutual feelings. When these children are married, they will be able to achieve respect, understanding, care, and trust between husband and wife, which is also the foundation of love and a prerequisite for career success.
3. Emotional basis
Between husband and wife, the strength, scale, and depth of each other's speech and body should be just right. The trust between husband and wife comes from each other, and empathy touches feelings and sincerity.
4. Reasons for conflict
Differences in hobbies, habits, lifestyles, ways of speaking, and ways of doing things between husband and wife are the root causes of conflicts between husband and wife. If you find a good character spouse, the relationship between husband and wife will naturally be very harmonious. If one of the parties behaves badly, behaves unreasonably, speaks harshly, meanly, arrogantly, indifferently, and does not know how to repent, it will all be the trigger for the deterioration of the relationship between husband and wife.
5. Cooperation and coordination
Coordination and cooperation are required in life. If they cannot be separated from each other, they must learn to cherish each other, ease conflicts and maintain a harmonious relationship with each other and the atmosphere of life. Because they already know each other’s habits, don’t do things that are annoying to each other. , try to find a suitable and reasonable way to resolve the conflict, so that both parties will not be hurt, but also make the married life more harmonious and warm, this is the embodiment of wisdom. Being able to get the appreciation and correct evaluation of the other party's words is also the driving force for a person to work and manage household chores. The elegant and intelligent communication skills between husband and wife can subtly release the suppressed emotions.
6. Misunderstandings in communication
It is also a kind of knowledge to grasp the scale of interaction between mutual friends. The wise person grasps it just right, and the ignorant person has an extramarital affair. Escape makes them fall into a deeper abyss, unable to extricate themselves, empathy hurts people who are close and ambiguous with them. If there is no love, you should choose to break up, don't entangle, don't hurt each other from love to hate. A rational approach is more worthy of promotion than an impulsive approach. It is wrong to control the normal social interaction of others. It is necessary to guide the lover how to think in a different position and let the other party understand each other's feelings.
