（1） A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
一个小男孩走进一家理发店，这时理发师悄悄对顾客说：“这是天底下最傻的孩子，我来证明给你看。”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
理发师在一只手上放了一美元，另一只手上放了两个25美分的硬币，然后把男孩叫过来，问道：“孩子，你想要哪个？”男孩拿走了两个25美分的硬币然后离开了。
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
理发师说道：“瞧我刚刚跟你说了啥？这孩子从不会吸取教训！”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
过了一会儿，顾客离开的时候，他看到那个男孩从冰淇淋店走了出来。
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
“诶，孩子，我能问你个问题吗？你为什么拿走美分硬币而不是美元？”
The boy licked his cone and replied,"Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
男孩舔了舔冰淇淋然后答道：“因为等我拿走了美元，这个游戏就结束了。”
（2）Pessimist: Oh, this can't get any worse!
悲观主义者：天哪，这件事已经糟糕到头了。
Optimist: Yes, it can!
乐观主义者：不，这件事还能更糟。
（3） Lawyer:To prove that my client was home alone, I would like to present my client's internet search history from that evening.
律师：为了证明我的委托人案发当时独自在家，我想呈上委托人在当晚的网络浏览记录。
Client: I'd rather just confess to the murder.
委托人：那我宁可承认我就是凶手。
