It's useful, in part, because it reminds us that we all have feelings that we don't act upon, maybe shouldn't act upon.
它的好处在于，这种区分提醒我们：我们都有很多并没有付诸行动的，或者本就不该付诸行动的情感和感受。
I'll give you an example.
比如。
Sometimes I'm in line, and there's somebody in front of me with one of those bluetooth earpieces on.
有时我在排队的时候，前面有个人带着蓝牙耳机叽叽喳喳个没完。
And they're chattering and chattering, completely oblivious to the people behind them, we're all waiting while they keep chattering.
我行我素，完全不顾及后面被打扰的人的感受。
And sometimes, when that happens, I fantasize for just a split second about pulling out a sword and chopping of their ear.
而当这种情况出现时，有时我脑海里就会闪现这样的念头：我拔出一把宝剑，一剑下去切掉他的耳朵。
Whoosh! I don't act on that feeling; don't act on that feeling.
"嗖"的一声，世界清静了。我并没有把这种感受付诸行动。
You may have had similar feelings.
相信你们也会在某些时候有类似的感受。
We all have feelings we don't act upon, and that's part of being a grownup.
我们都会产生一些感受，却不遵循它们去行动。这是成熟的表现。
That's part of being a human being; you have self-restraint.
这是人的正常表现。你会有自制力。
Just because you have a feeling, doesn't mean you ought to act on it, and this distinction reminds us of that.
并不仅仅因为你产生了一种感受，就意味着你一定要将其付诸行动。这种区分方法提醒我们这个道理。
It's a problematic distinction because it over-simplifies.
而另一方面，这种区分方式也存在着过于简化的问题。
For one thing, it draws a very sharp contrast between feelings and activities, when the contrast between those things is not always so sharp.
比如，它在情感感受与具体行为之间，划出了一条非常清晰的界线，而界线的两边，情感感受和具体行为实际上却往往不是那么泾渭分明的两种事物。
Sometimes they're intimately connected.
有时这两者紧密相连。
Sometimes who we are and what we do are profoundly connected, and this distinction maybe makes us forget that a little bit.
有时，"我们是谁"和"我们要做什么"这两者有着极大的关联，而这种武断的区分，会让我们忘了这一点。
It's also problematic because it over-simplifies each of the elements involved, both sexual orientation and sexual activity.
这种区分的另一个糟糕之处是它过度简化了问题里相关的元素：性取向和性行为。
Let me say something about each of those elements.
我不妨解释一下两者。
Let's start with activity.
先从行为开始。
What do I mean when I say, "homosexual activity?"
当我们提到"同性性行为"的时候，我们指的是什么？
Well, what do I mean when I say, "heterosexual activity?"
当我们提到"异性性行为"的时候，我们指的又是哪些东西？
Intercourse? Sure. What about kissing? Sometimes.
是指"性交"吗？当然！那么"接吻"算吗？有时候算。
What about holding hands?
那么"牵手"呢？
What about going for a romantic walk with someone?
或者"浪漫地和某人一起散步"？
What about making a nice dinner for someone?
又或者"给某人做一顿美味佳肴"？
What about waiting outside someone's door because you have a crush on that person?
抑或仅仅是"在暗恋的对象家门前守候"。
Yeah, you know who you are.
可别想歪了哦。
Think about all of the activities that make up our romantic lives, broadly understood.
大家想象一下那些构成我们情感生活的所有行为，那么答案显而易见。
When we talk about heterosexuality, we talk about that wide range of activities.
当我们讨论异性恋的时候，我们会去讨论上面的这些各种各样的行为。
When we talk about homosexuality, we focus on the sex part of it.
而当我们讨论同性恋的时候，我们却把所有的焦点集中在"性"这一点上。
And that gives us the kind of picture like the bedroom is the only room in the homosexual person's house
这给了人们一种错觉，仿佛同性恋家里只有一间屋子，那就是卧室，
or the most important part of our lives and relationships, and it's a false picture.
仿佛性才是我们生活中和情感里最重要的东西，而这大错特错。
This is not the only time we get this sort of false contrast.
这已经不是第一次遇到这种错误的区别对待了。
I mean we say things. We say, yeah, heterosexual people, we talk about relationships.
人们讨论问题的时候，当讨论异性恋者，会去他讨论他们的"情感生活"。
Homosexual people, we talk about sex.
而当说到同性恋者，却只会讨论"性"这个话题。
We say heterosexual people have lives; homosexual people have "lifestyles."
人们会说，异性恋者过的是"生活"，而同性恋者过的是"生活方式"。
I teach at a state university.
我在州立大学教书。
I don't make enough money to have a "lifestyle."
我挣得那点钱可让我过不上什么"生活方式"。
We say heterosexual people have a moral vision; homosexual people have an agenda.
人们会说异性恋者有"伦理道德观"，而同性恋者是"行事态度"。
The words we use to talk about these things really affect our way of thinking about them.
我们讨论一个事物时用的那些词汇，会真切地影响到我们思考他们的方式。
Now, I'm going to focus on homosexual sex tonight because that's the part that bothers people,
我们今晚将着重谈谈同性恋的性这个话题，因为让很多人感到不安的，正是它。
but I don't want you to get this kind of skewed picture
但是我不想让你们得到这种歪曲的观念，
that's the only part of homosexual activity, homosexual relationships, or homosexual people's lives.
以为性是同性恋行为，同性恋情感关系，或者同性恋群体的人生的全部。
