仔细想一想,「对话」(conversation) 是人类奇怪的发明。每个人脑子里想不同的东西,然后用言语表达。普通的讲话模式也没什么正式的束缚,可是大家都有与某些人话不投机半句多,或者与刚认识讲几句话就一见如故的经验。
谈话的艺术建立在场合与话题上,与互相尊敬,还有搞清楚什么事情不应该讲。看过经典电影《窈窕淑女》 My Fair Lady 的影迷永远记得由奥黛丽·赫本 (Audrey Hepburn) 主演的卖花女伊莱莎 (Eliza) 在学习如何正式的讲话时,希金斯太太 (Mrs. Higgins) 指导她在公共场合时,只能谈论天气与健康的话题。
在现代世界,社会礼仪已经改变了,而言语自由中的话题早就无止境的超越了气象与饮食。可是如果一开口就把困难的的词汇和复杂的想法搬出来,与你对话的人可能会不高兴。其实开启一个轻松和幽默的对话很简单,参考以下的单子与三个基本的对话指南,下次在聚餐,或者公司的活动时,与任何人都可以高兴的讲讲话,享受一下放松的心情与幽默的英文对话。
不同的对话模式
chitchat:闲聊
talk:讲话
small talk:寒暄
big talk:大话
topic:话题
personal topic:私人话题
controversial topic:争议性话题
hot topic:热门话题(很可能也是争议性的)
conversation:谈话
conversationalist:健谈者
private conversation:私人谈话
dialogue:对话(意见交换)
好的闲聊英文话题
weather:天气
health:健康
fashion:时尚
technology:科技
current events:时事
movies:电影
books:书籍
不好的闲聊英文话题
gossip:八卦
money:金钱
people’s personal lives:私生活
politics:政治
racial conflicts:种族冲突
religion:宗教
sexual orientations:性向
很棒的英文闲聊话题
positive feedback about others:对他人正面回应
insights on shared experiences:共享经验的见解
potential of new projects:新计划的潜力
lighthearted jokes:轻松的笑话
the best ways to learn English:学习英语的最佳途径
用英文闲聊不冷场的三个小秘诀
1. Make proper introduction, and make everyone feel comfortable
正式的介绍,让每个人都感到安逸
当大家把衣服穿好,把自己周末或晚上的时间空出来参加聚会时,一定会希望与有礼貌的人相处。就算是平常每天见面的同事,不可能互相不知道姓名与职位,在不同的场合的时,还是正式的打给招呼。尤其是有互相不认识或者不熟悉的人,而你两方都认识,这时就是做个和善的介绍人的做好机会。
介绍时,一定要用对方的名字,不要因为你认识他们,就「你我他」的叫,当然也不用指名道姓。介绍了名字以后,最简单的下一步就是提到新朋友们的长处,像是最近刚升职,或者是运动健将,让大家互相建立良好的影响,也不会忘记你的体贴与善意。
(O) this is my colleague Jonathan, and this is my friend Jocelyn. Jocelyn is an excellent advertising researcher, and she is in charge of monitoring the latest advertising trends for us. Jonathan is the new leader of our product design team, and we are so lucky to have him.
这位是我的同事乔纳森,这位是我的朋友乔斯林。乔斯林是一位杰出的广告研究员,让我们知道广告业的最新趋势就是她的责任。乔纳森是我们的产品设计团队的新领导者,我们有他真的很幸运。
(O) This is my friend Gwen. She is an interior designer, and she just received her certification to teach Pilates. This is my new neighbor Greg. He is always jogging at six in the morning, everyone in the building looks up to him. Gwen and Greg, perhaps you two have lots to talk about.
这位是我的朋友格温。她是一位室内设计师,也刚获得彼拉提斯教学认证。这是我的新邻居格雷格。他总是在早上六点晨跑,大楼的人都想与他看齐。格温与格雷格,也许你们两个会有说不完的话。
(X) Hi, there, how is my buddy? I can’t believe what a wonderful party you have planned! I brought my friend, and he is a vegetarian, are you going to be serving more foods that he can eat?
老弟,还好吗?我不敢相信你举办了一个精彩的晚会。我带我的朋友来,他是一个素食主义者,你们会提供更多他可以吃的食物吗?
(X) You are here! I was just thinking that you are probably still at the office. You are such a workaholic! Try the guacamole, it’s my secret recipe. Excuse me, my girlfriend is waving at me, I need to help some guests find parking.
你在这里!我还在想你可能仍然在办公室。你这个工作狂!试试鳄梨酱,那是我的秘方。对不起,我的女朋友在向我招手,我需要帮助一些客人找停车位。
2. Say something humorous 幽默一下
幽默是最好的开场白。同事们每天都穿差不多的衣服,坐在电脑前面,换一个时间与场合,会互相有机会讲讲话,关心一下。如果突然看到大家换装了,也不想讨论工事,开开玩笑,轻松一下启动欢乐的气氛。可是开玩笑不是取笑别人,或者趁机抱怨。
(O) Linda, it’s so nice to see you outside the office. You look different tonight. Let me guess, you decided to let the laptop and all those files stay home, and show us how beautiful you look in a party dress.
琳达,在办公室外看到妳真好。你今晚看起来不同。让我猜猜,你决定让笔记本电脑和所有的文件留在家里,并让我们看到妳穿礼服有多漂亮。
(X) You guys are super late. I asked you to pick up some ice on the way here, but I didn’t tell you to go home, make some ice, and take your time to get here.
你们超级迟到。我请你们顺路带一些冰块,但我没有叫你回家,做一些冰块,然后再慢吞吞的来。
3. Flow in and out situations with ease, even the difficult ones
在困难的状况下也优雅的进退
一段对话有点像一个旅程,而计划行程的你也可能会碰到困难,所以必须未雨绸缪。如果感觉紧张,或者不喜欢话题发展的方向,赶快转移对方的注意力,同时执行退出计划,并优雅的离开。
(O) I haven’t been updating myself on what’s happening in the Middle East. Please excuse me, I am hosting a fundraising next month, and I must go find the caterer who made all these lovely foods.
最近我都没有注意发生在中东的事。请原谅我,我下个月要举办一个筹款活动,我必需去找制作这些美好食物的餐饮供应商。
(X) I wish everyone would just stop talking about the ISIS. You know, the world is filled with problems and conflicts, and so many nations are in need. Why does everything revolve around what the Americans are doing? Excuse me, I need to go get a drink at the bar.
我希望大家不要再谈论 ISIS。你要知道世界充满了问题和冲突,许多国家都需要帮助,为什么一切都围绕在美国人做什么?不好意思,我要去吧台喝一杯。