Make the first move. 主动出击。
抢得先机很重要。
Don’t wait for others to message you.
主动开口不只能够展现你自信的一面,还能让你在茫茫人海中被看见。
Don’t include their names in your first message.
但要记得,初次开口直接叫对方的名字可是大忌,不仅有点太过亲密,还会让人产生防卫心喔!
Hi, I am Nick. And what is your name?
嗨,我是 Nick ,你的名字是?
Show you are paying attention. 表现你的观察力。
就和写履历一样,聊天也要客制化。
Showing them that you are paying attention, instead of a template you send to every match.
虽然有快速、方便等许多优点,但要在众多无聊、自以为幽默地打招呼中脱颖而出,不妨仔细观察对方现有的资讯,并真心诚意地设计每一个开场与对话,当对方感受到你的用心,心房也自然就会悄悄打开喔。
I like your new hairstyle. Did you just dye your hair?
我喜欢你的新发型,你的头发是最近刚染的吗?
Start with a compliment. 先从赞美开始吧。
不知道该怎么做?可以先从有诚意地赞美开始。
Opening with a compliment will likely make people feel good about themselves and become more at ease to talk.
赞美是一件让人自然而然产生信心、感到愉快的事情,收到正面的讯息的时候,大家应该都会不由自主地偷偷开心一下吧?
从赞美的角度切入,可以让彼此之间有一个轻松、美好的关系。
有几点大家可以特别注意:
(1) Don’t be an everyman, and say something that stands out. 忌讳罐头式的赞美,客制化赞美才是王道。
(2) Make a reference to something on their profile. 试着从个人档案或照片开始。
当对方觉得你的赞美来自你的细心观察,感受到真的被「看到」,你就从千篇一律的罐头讯息中胜出了!
You really have a good taste in fashion; the dress in the photo is quite unique. Do you have any tips for dressing up for an occasion? I’m asking about this because I have a birthday party to go to next week.
你真的很有时尚品味,照片里的裙子还满特别的。你有没有一些小技巧可以让我知道在某些场合该如何打扮,我会问这个是因为下周有一个生日派对要参加。
Ask meaningful questions. 抛出有意义的问题。
连结个人经验,谈谈回忆、分享观点、了解彼此。
Start with questions that are related to personal experiences and share your own stories as well.
从一个人的经验和记忆开始,可以快速拉近彼此的距离、产生更多共同话题。
另外,如果谈到一些比较深入的观点,也可以帮你有效了解对方、筛选对象。
根据两个人的关系进展,以下有三个例句适合不同阶段的你们:
初阶版:
What is your favorite place in the world? Have you ever been there before?
世界上你最喜欢的地方是哪里?你有去过吗?
中阶版:
What is the most meaningful thing in your life?
你生命中最有意义的事物是什么?
进阶版:
Would you rather live as a happy and ordinary person or a sad and rich person?
你希望当一个平凡快乐的人,还是一个悲伤而富有的人?
Be straight to the point. 不要说废话。
Keep the message simple, just get straight to the point and have a nice and friendly conversation.
最后,请在顾及对方感受的状况下,尽量以简单明了的方式进行对话,大部分的人可没有耐心和时间猜测你的意图和心情。
直接地表达感受、温柔地对话,相信你已经成为一个闪耀的最佳约会人选!
Do you have plans for the weekend?
你这个周末有什么计画吗?